Thursday, 14 January 2010

Men's Guide to Ironing Shirts

Saw this "3 Wise Men" ad on Air New Zealand's inflight magazine and thought it was funny.


The scanned image is really small so I will re-write the steps involved.

Step 1
If the shirt has buttons, unbutton them. If it has beads, sequins or anything metallic, throw it away. Same if it has rope ties. You are not a pirate anymore.

Step 2
Lay down flat on an ironing board, chest facing up. Sorry that should have read; Lay shirt down flat on an ironing board, chest facing up.

Step 3
Start with the collar. If you only iron one part of your shirt, make it your collar. Just remember to keep you jacket on all day if you do.

Step 4
Place one shoulder over the narrow end of the ironing board and iron the top of the back of the shirt. Repeat with the other shoulder. This can be quite tricky so turn off the telly, take your toast out of your mouth, stop checking the facebook, put on some undies and concentrate.

Step 5
Iron the sleeves from the top down, before opening the cuffs and ironing them flat. Try and get your cuffs so sharp that if you happened to be attacked by a man walking down the street, you could slice his throat with them if you had to. And yes we've seen that happen.

Step 6
Slip the shirt over the wide end of the board and iron the back. Here you can either iron with the back-and-forward method or the wax-on-wax-off circular method depending on whether or not you liked "The Karate Kid".

Step 7
Iron the front of the shirt, one half at a time. Don't get distracted by local body politicians, Mormons or Girl Guides selling chocolate Girl Guide biscuits at the door because you're almost there.

Step 8
You're done! Now place on a hanger. If the shirt still looks like your Grandmother's neck, give your mum a call to say you're popping over with a little something for her.

Hope all you blokes out there are now able to iron your shirts well. If you still can't go look at the yellow pages and find 3 Wise Men. They are in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch and Sydney. And no, I am not being paid to do this. Have fun.


Anonymous said...

simply brilliant!

Chris said...

I enjoyed that bit, glad u put it up. !!!